A day better than birthday

salam. Mmm untuk pendahuluan, aku ada benda yang nak bicarakan sikitlah haha. Ramai orang ada blog, tak kurang juga ramainya orang yang suka baca blog. Malunya,  bila orang lain blog diorang penuh dengan hadis, berisi dengan hujah yang mantap, output yang konkrit daripada input yang pasti. Blog aku pulak, sekadar pung pang sana  sini ;( sekian pendahuluan yg random, sambungannya tunggu next post.

Selalukan dengar orang kata, hari ibu tak yah sambut sebab kita patutnya hargai ibu hari2. Speculate any way you prefer cause I ain't talking about that issue for now. Apa yang aku nk cerita sebenarnya berkait dengan kata-kata itu. In my very own words, an ordinary day can be better than birthday.

Ada orang belanja proper breakfast pagi tadi, ada orang belanja lunch, ada orang sudi teman nak hilangkan stress, ada orang teman lalu jalan gelap.

Breakfast- I am a breakfast person. A proper breakfast is more than enough. Mmm terkejut juga bila ada dia cakap dia belanja. Aku bukan jenis yg biar je kalau orang nak belanja. Aku tak boleh diam. Mesti nk bayar balik. Tapi, ada sorang member ini ckp.."mimi, lain kali kalau org nak belanja ko, terima je." And he came up with a few legit reasons. Oleh hal yang demikian, aku tahannnn je tadi nk ckp 'eh tak yahlah, nnt aku bayar balik'. On the other hand, aku memaksa diri aku cakap, 'terima kasih'. Well, salah satu benda yg manusia selalu tak ckp walhal penting jugala untuk org lain dengar, "terima kasih". The other party will feel appreciated for what they did, well legit if they are sincere hihi. Omaigod bab breakfast dah panjang mcm ni. Mimi mimi...

Lunch- a belated birthday treat. Only the two of us. With a little bit heart to heart talk. Tak minta apa dah. For someone who can listen to me when I'm telling my deep feeling or secret, I can't thank you more.

Stress... I've been sick more than a week. I'm not easily infected or get sick, and after a few diagnosing sessions as to the causing factor of my sickness... I'm blaming the stress, overworked and overthinking Mimi! So I'm letting myself to ponteng a few planned things this Saturday to pamper myself. And someone, who I really prefer to accompany me, agreed to accompany me... Though there is like 90% the plan can be cancelled. T.T

Darkness! Oh mygod. To the countless time, I'd been the victim of darkness, to have someone voluntarily accompany me, without me asking, I really appreciate it. 

best or good

huwarkkk tak boleh tak boleh nak kena cerita juga haha

ok, so, a senior of mine, he asked randomly, if one has a choice to be a person who is good, u know, like, just good, with a lot of things or a person who is best at one thing. This question is not tricky at all for me. My choice is definitely one who is best at one thing. 100% pure choice. But, to the twist of the story, more people comments to be good at a lot of things. I wonder why...
U see... it is always the best to be the best. World nowadays, they 'kill' you if you are not the best. Even if you are good, u're doomed because you are not the best.

My own experiences.
I was number two in exam, hence my picture is not up there.
I was number six, and they tell me they only take five of the best, like seriously!
I was asked to be a replacement, but when someone better came, they pushed me away. Good game huh!

This is the world nowadays. They only seek for the best. Who cares if you are good in a lot of things, you are just g-o-o-d.

Stephen Hawking- he is best at physics.The Beatles-the best band eva! Bill Gates-he is best at making money hihi see!

Quality over quantity. If you find it is not interesting to be the best at one thing, hehe...then go find one thing you are best at, the best that no one can beat you. Then, you'll see how it changes your perspective if life is interesting or not with one thing you best at. Nah..those who are best at one thing don't really care if it is hard to start anew in other things; because they don't even care to start other things when they have one thing they best at.

Well sound like I'm against those who have different choice than mine right. haha no offense. Tiba-tiba semangat berbahas 10 tahun lepas datang balik and maybe due to some of my dark experiences, I suddenly throw all these words.

fuh lega. Tadi masa tak dapat nak luahkan. Apa input pun tak boleh masuk kepala. Sekarang ini dah reda, baru rasa macam eh eh ye ke apa aku cakap ni haha..ok nnt kalau ada apa-apa, kita cerita lagi  ye.

Meh nak cakap sikit

So, awak kat mana..?
haha tetiba.. ok macam ini uolss..yaAllah kita geram sgt..adalah a few people ini, they post gambar dekat insta with caption i gemuk, i pendek, i itu i ini... the thing is that they are not! and it starts to get on my nerve. no seriously..they are pretty, thin and tall but labelling themselves as not. why o why my pretty baes?
While you guys were condeming yourself, we here, the real pendek, gemuk gegurls are trying to find the best angle ever so that we can look kurus and thin and pretty.

Don't you get it? you are not ugly, you are pretty! I got girl crush on you! The real short, fat, bearing 5 kilos cheeks on each side babes will try and struggle to find the best angle, and since you guys are not struggling as much as we do, PLEASE, stop putting those @#$% captions.

Pardon my bahasa rojak. It happens all the time when I try to luahkan perasaan yang membuak-buak macam volkano merah membarrrre. tehee..tak marah pun, x emo pun, Im writing this with a smile on my face. okbai. PUAS HATI. ;)

Syukur

Curi masa sikit curi masa sikit haha

esok exam.. Dermatology.

Mmm sebenarnya dah lama nak pos cerita ini, tapi tersangkut-sangkut pula usaha nak buka site ini.

So, after days...barulah dapat buka. Plus, I would like to make up for the post before this post. I would say the last post is #postmimibuatteruk

Haha.. It's all in my head. 

Ok meh kita bagi cerita best plak.

Macam ini, minggu terakhir kitorang untuk sem yang ke sembilan hari itu, kitorg kena pergi ambil zachot (sistem Rusia). Aku tolong ambilkan untuk satu subjek ini memandangkan aku free lah juga. After ups and downs.. aku tak dapat pun nak jadi hero untuk classmate aku huhu..

Lepas kegagalan itu, aku terus pergi kelas Ruski. Masa sampai itu, Jiha hulur blinni and Syahrin hulur pisang! They knew I were hungry and tak sempat lunch..hwarghhh terharunya. Tak kisah la bagi apa pun. The thought is all matter. Sweet gila..huhu hilang terus wey penat aku. Even masa aku pergi ambil zachot tu pun, diorang ada mesej tanya aku dah sampai ke, ok ke tak, itu ke ini ke.. oo by the way, Adam yang senyap2 tu pun dok risau kat aku. rupa-rupanya dia bawak chocolate utk aku, tapi dia kata dia dah termakan ahaha xpela adam..it's okay. 

Sekali-sekala dpt rasa org syg kita, caring pasal kita. haha.. Seronoknya saya. hihi ok bye. esok exam. Pray for me. 

"Being generous to useless people".. K-comedian

#tajuk orang putih, isi orang melayu. hihi

Post kali ini, nampak gaya macam nak buka aib diri sendiri. Tapi memandangkan satu-satunya sebab aku tetap menulis blog ini adalah : untuk rujukan diri sendiri dlm usaha mematangkan diri, jadi aku akan tulis la.

Aku pun tak sedar sejak bila, tapi, aku dah mula ajar diri sendiri untuk buat baik dekat mana-mana orang dengan harapan orang itu buat baik dekat orang lain. Sebab kalau aku harap dia buat baik balik dekat aku, aku akan kecewa.

Mungkin benda ni mula bila aku baca satu artikel pasal orang buat baik dekat "random people". It's a great deed. I'm impressed by their deed and since I realised that I am not a girl with a lot of good deeds I decided to do this thing- do good things for random people. Alhamdulillah setakat ini aku puas hati. seronok dapat seronok kan org lain.

Mungkin juga benda ni mula bila ayah aku cerita yg dia layan pekerja dia yang pendatang asing sbb dia harap anak dia ini dilayan baik juga kat sini. huhu terharunya. Jadi aku selalu usaha untuk layan org2 tua sebaik mungkin dengan harapan ada orang akan tengok-tengokkan parents aku.

Tapi! Godaan syaitan sungguh. Hati aku asyik goyah je, terasa nak mengungkit, mungkin tak terkeluar di mulut; tapi di hati, hanya Allah dan aku sahaja yg tahu. oh kecewa sungguh dengan diri sendiri. Tapi kecewa juga dengan mereka-mereka yang macam tak nampak usaha aku nak ada silaturrahim yang deep dengan diorang. So sad. If I am to consider these people as random people than I won't be this dissapointed.

Ibu pesan, ikhlas kan hati. Ikhlas kan semua. Huhu.. I am.. tapi diorang ini kering sgt ada yg kejam sgt sampai rasa nk mengungkit. huhu Ada ke patut kejam sampai boleh nak boikot aku? Aku bukan mengelakkan diri, tapi sibuk sangat, tak dapat nak join. Aku ada prioriti. Dah dua tiga kali aku 'loose'kan prioriti supaya tak dianggap menjauhkan diri, jadi tolonglah hargai usaha aku ini, kenapa masih nak boikot, balas dendam dengan aku.

"Being generous to useless person"..exactly how I feel,,, well not most of the times. So, should I consider myself as being generous to random people?

A Theory of Everything

A week ago, I finished watching one Korean series. The male lead is schizo and having Lou Gehrig's disease in delusional state. Which means..he created a disease he doesn't have.

A Theory of Everything. Another story with the main lead having Lou Gehrig's disease. Now, isn't it cool, when you are a medical student and know something's medical-related through your entertainment. Well,, at least I don't feel that much of a guilty for having some relaxing time of mine haha

So, while watching this movie, it gave me goosebumps for a few times. 

First, when a scientist is diagnosed with a disease so called Lou Gehrig's disease. "Hey, I knew this disease like a few days ago, and it affects the male lead also!"

Second, when he got kid despite his illness. Someone used to tell me, that there is  this one engineer trying to built a bridge. But unfortunately, he lost his ability to talk, so his sons continue the construction of the bridge. So, I was kinda.. "haa..is this him? the engineer who's trying to built a bridge? Jeng3..." So, I was thrilled and kept watching although the story is kinda slow-progressing type of a movie.

Third, when he lost his ability to speak. Like I said, the story that I recalled. The engineer. He also lost his ability to speak just like the male lead in this movie. His son continued the effort to construct the bridge  by communicating with his father through a special method.

Fourth, when the female lead brought a board with letter! "I knew it. This is the guy! The guy and a bridge"...Continue my recall...-that special method is to ask his father to blink at the letter the son shows.

Fifth, when there is a close up of the male lead. "oh my god! This is the scientist I met in Madame Tussauds, London!"

Fifth, when at the end of the story, he divorced and he is not connected with bridge at all. So my recall of the story is not precise at some points. Haha..well I have expected that not-precise-recall from myself. A girl who have very weak memory and so little general knowledge. I kinda mixed up the story. I was all correct about a great person losing ability to communicate and his wife uses a board of letters to communicate with her. And it's him- Stephen Hawking. But it has nothing to do with the bridge. oh, it was Brooklyn Bridge by the way. haha.... Now, you can go research about Brooklyn Brige by the way. The Brooklyn Bridge has nothing to do with losing ability to speak, but it is true that the construction is continued by the sons of the engineer.

Now, there is one more thing I would like to share or argue or comment. When Jane decided to marry Stephen despite his illness and their young age-and giving excuses that they love each other. I strongly disagree with this. Live in reality my dear. Love is not everything. You might get tired and bored of it. Most of us do. 

But then she proved me wrong when they got three children and she is still by his side by the  time he received the tittle professor. oh what a great love this is. Remind me of Habibi and Ainun. 

But again, when I already have the courage to believe that great love like that exist, heading to the end of the movie, Jane and Stephen divorced! OMG..how disappointing  this is. Plus, it is mutual agreement. Stephen got Elaine and Jane got Jonathan. 

First, Jane said she wanted to marry Stephen because she loves him, but then she's the first one to 'betray' Stephen by having feelings for Jonathan. Stephen, when he married Elaine- "I'm glad that I marry a woman I love"- seriously? Jane had been by your side all this time, going through all hardships and you says you love this new lady, oh seriously.  I'm not trying to condemn their love story. But if you will have to marry for a  few times to find the right one..then I'm scared I'll be scared of marriage. My conclusion is..there is no single theory of everything. Just live your life.

New Hope

Happy New Year.

I was exactly from my facebook tab. Yup, I'm Having that no-idea-moments. I'd been typing and deleting over and over again in that status section and at last I decide to write all my thoughts here.

Well, thinking that no one is going to read my blog, it gives me strength to write any of my thoughts here without being judged.

So, here goes my deep thought in accordance to New Year's Eve.

Everyone, here and there, is wishing happy new year. I come to this idea of not posting this wish on facebook because I were thinking, why should I?.. But just then I realized... in this cliche three words, once a year wish, it contains hope!

Some may be giving words of wisdom, some may sounds like they are complaining, some may comes with resolutions, whatever things they are sharing, I strongly believe, they are hoping at the very least that 2015 will be filled with better things.

It had been hard to me. 2014 it was. I broke up with this guy I've known for about 8 years, family problems here and there, my Iphone had been accidentally damaged by someone who is actually trying to repair it, looking for true friends issue, trusting people issue, looking for my purposes of life issue, not able to have my dream vacation due to unexpected weather changing and more. I hardly, barely, recall any good memories of 2014.

whatever it is, whoever you are, if you happened to read this, your prayers will be much appreciated. Do pray that I'll be a better daughter, sister, friend, student, doctor and muslimah. Thank you. God bless you too. Amin.